After giving hundreds of Tarot readings about love, relationships and marriage, I've come to the conclusion that love is a gamble. Lucky ones win the game. The rest try it again and again until they are satisfied with what they get or they just give it up. And it's even more addictive than gambling because the rewards along the way are so pleasant and the big jackpot is such a dream come true.
Since Saint Valentine’s day is for many people about sharing the love and creating happiness with your partner, spouse or family, it’s also a day where the lonely feel lonelier. As February approaches I usually get emails and phone calls from my friends and clients saying:
“One more Saint Valentine’s day, and I still didn’t find my other half...”
“I'm the only one who’s single... I’ll never find somebody...”
“I read all the books about finding the soulmate, went to the workshops and nothing happened yet...”
Millions of women and men are looking for their soulmates. They are ready to do anything to find him or her. They spend their time, mental and spiritual energy and money. Most of the time the search brings only disappointment and more loneliness. Why doesn’t it work? Are you endlessly searching? Do you think that you’re looking for your soulmate in the wrong places? Or that you’re not clever or pretty enough, or have made too many mistakes?
Don't be so hard on yourself. Let me tell you... in general the lovelorn are smarter than they think. They seldom make mistakes in their lives when it comes to professional decisions. They don’t necessarily have social or psychological problems. But yes, they are looking in the wrong place for their soulmate if they are hanging out in bars or spending hours on dating services. It’s because your soulmate is not on the outside, but within. But as long as you look for your soulmate in somebody else you’ll stay on this endless quest, looking, searching, failing...
I know, you want to find your soulmate. But as long as you look for it in other women’s and men’s eyes you are going to lose yourself. Because you are your real soulmate. Nobody else is. First you have to find yourself in your own soul. Later you can decide who will be your girl/boyfriend, spouse or life partner.
Simply put, how can you know who is right for you... if you don’t know who You are. I think this is the biggest mistake of millions... searching for something outside that you already have inside.
Nothing is forever in life... family, job, marriage, relatives, feelings, ideas have an end. Love has an end too. Human body has an end. But there is only one thing which is forever and endless.. your soul. When you die, you leave everything behind, your physical body, your home, cars, furniture, bank accounts and credit cards... you can't take them to the other side with you. You only have your soul. And your soul is your forever.
Yes of course we have a soulmate, which is us, not anybody else outside of our body. That’s why the more you look for a miracle person, the more you find frustrations in your love life.
Look in the mirror: there is your miracle person.
If you are alone this Valentine’s Day, don’t punish yourself. Take the day as a day for you. Give your soul the attention it deserves from you. It’s your soul. It wants you to acknowledge it. Don’t punish it by making it wait to be healed by the touch of a stranger. Your healing power is in your heart.
And let’s say that you found what you have been looking for, and you’re in love. Congratulations! But remember love is a gamble. You can win or you can lose. Just like in life, there are no guarantees in this gamble. Maybe you are lucky, maybe not. But you will ensure your luck if you love yourself first. Find yourself first. Protect your body and home, build in them a healthy place for your soul and you’ll have less frustrations in your love life with your partner. This is not to be interpreted as selfish attention for yourself, but as nurturing, healthy things for home, body, and spirit.
If you already have a life partner, enjoy it... enjoy Valentine’s Day together in the best way. But remember, nobody can love you more than you love yourself—and nobody should, either.